Unavoidable laws of the Natural Universe

These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe....

1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with greaseyour nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee..

2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the leastaccessible corner.

3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directlyproportional to the stupidity of your act..

4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get abusy signal.

5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work becauseyou had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one youwere in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (worksevery time).

7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephonerings.

8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you knowincreases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machinewon't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inverselyproportional to the reach.

11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest fromthe aisle arrive last.

12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, yourboss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a lockerroom, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jellysandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlatedto the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know whatyou are talking about.

17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like,they will stop making it.